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Im back up and running!!

Hello folks , I'm happy to say I'm back up and running after a period of quiet reflection! I feel so sorry that I haven't been there for you, but for those of you that don't know me, I will be repeating my previous blogs over the next coming weeks in the hope that I can reach out to you and raise awareness of mood disorders.

Many of you will  know me from the publication of my book 'I blame the hormones' and be familiar with me, but for those of you who haven't read it, please do so and give me your feedback. I'm always anxious to hear from any sufferers, particularly those that have suffered from Postnatal Depression, Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder and any reproductive depression. I'm also in contact with two leading professors and am passing on any relevant findings, confidentially of course. I'm also on the board of directors at National association of PMDD and panel member of Action on Menstrual Psychosis which brings me to my next point.

Professor Ian Brockington who is one of the most interesting and kind individuals I have ever had the privilege to meet, has set up this panel in the hope of gaining extra insight and even extra funding . He has just come out of retirement, after years of helping poorly women and was the first doctor to set up mother and baby units in the UK. He  has helped thousands of women and  their babies and is passionate about researching the causes of reproductive mood disorders. I'm so grateful for his input in my life, his knowledge and compassion is humbling, and the newsletter he send me is extremely informative. If you are interested in his work you can find him easily enough on google where he has posted his latest papers and findings. He is also interested in case studies if you are willing to provide one.

I'm so thankful to be able to help this cause, to raise awareness and to help any sufferers I can. Please drop me a line, tell me your stories and share this page. It helps reach out to others, and could even save a life which is something that is very important to me

Blessings as always, Suzi, AKA Caroline Church.

How to download my book in digital format.

I've absolutely lost count of the number of times people have asked me how to download my book and in actual fact, being a complete technophobe, I wasn't even sure myself! I BLAME THE HORMONES as everybody now knows, has been written with the sole intention of raising awareness of a crippling and often misunderstood condition suffered by thousands of women worldwide.

As far as I'm aware, it is the first memoir of its kind, although as the condition called PMDD or Reproductive depression increases, and more sufferers discover their own illness, I daresay there will be more of these type of books published, and quite rightly so. The more books that are being sold, the more healthcare workers will begin to understand how awfully mean  our female hormones can be!!

When you go to Amazon to download the book, you will notice that it is written under the pseudonym of Caroline Church. You will also see that there is the option to buy the book without a Kindle. You can then download the App onto your smartphone, PC or even an E-reader and then purchase the book in digital format. The good news is it only costs a single pound and is fairly quick to read (between an hour or two) which is perfect for the busy women, or indeed any man who wishes to know why their wives or girlfriends are struggling every month.

Once you have read the book, I would also be so grateful if you could write a review. The more reviews Amazon have, the more people can be reached. Perhaps after reading it, you can think of that one person, friend or relative who you also know is suffering with depression or any other mood disorder. It maybe that they have not yet realized the correlation between their own reproductive cycle, and their emotional issues, which can also lead to physical ill health too.

Please leave me a comment or message me if you have problems downloading this book and I will help all I can. God Bless. Suzi x

Can anyone help with my lowered immunity?

When people think about a depressive disorder, whether it be hormonally related or otherwise, they tend to think of the emotional aspects and not much else. However, anyone suffering will indeed have days where they feel very unwell as a result of their depression, and will often have multiple ailments too. This is often going hand in hand with the emotional disturbances and the whole system can become depressed, and even immune suppressed as the body suffers from the 'fight or flight' overload and adrenal exhaustion.

For years and years I have had multiple illnesses, allergies, sensitivities and an almost complete absence of immunity which has culminated in me picking up every circulating virus and bacteria. When you have children and a husband to look after its so frustrating and even harder to bear when people often make comments about you 'always being ill'. Sometimes I am ill so often I'm almost embarrassed to tell people, which does little for my self esteem and can even leave me feeling even more despondent as I despair of my own condition. Despite my emotional recovery, I still have this ability to be ill for most of the winter every year, and I can tell you its extremely difficult when you try every available remedy, holistic or otherwise in the hope that you can finally be well.

Since November I have had an almost continuous succession of illnesses and despite my reluctance to use antibiotics, I had a severe bout of flu and then the more horrendous tonsillitis which left me completely unable to cope. This  is all despite taking a cupboard full of supplements, maintaining an exercise routine and being a regular juicer! I also practise mindfulness and deep prayer in the hope of a complete recovery! I have searched high and low, read every available text and spend at least £100 at Holland and Barrett a month, in the hope that there will be an end to my collapsed immunity which came after years of suffering from a hormonal illness. It really is a never ending nightmare and I  feel so sorry for my family who have to  cope with it too as I am often bed ridden.

 However, there is one thing which I  haven't tried, and as we approached lent I thought I would give it try, and that is to give up wheat or anything containing gluten in the hope that my body will strengthen. I will also give up dairy if I see no improvement as this winter has been so disheartening,and almost well, depressing. I also am concerned that the amount of illnesses that I get could result in a mutation of cells, or even worse, a relapse in my mental state and a return of my disorder. Both of these notions fill me with horror, particularly when I am trying so hard to maintain my equilibrium and spending a fortune on my health.

It reading this blog, you feel that there is anything else I could try which will boost my immunity, please let me know and I would be so happy to hear from you. It maybe that you too have had this issue and have found  something helpful that I haven't yet tried.
Peace and love,
Suzi x

Did you have problems after childbirth and can you help with reserach?

Although I have written a similar blog to this, the subject is so important that I feel the need to ask again for further help with research. At present there is an ongoing research programme being conducted at Birmingham University which has huge implications for women suffering from emotional disturbances after childbirth. This will help scientists understand more about the factors that make some women poorly, and will lead to better prediction and treatments for anyone who has had mood disorders. Clearly with the recent dramatic rise in sufferers, it is vital that we improve our understanding and in particular prepare the next generation being that is often hereditary.

The BDRN or Bipolar disorder and Postpartum Research is conducting the largest study so far and 6000 individuals have already taken part in these studies. However more help is needed and as we already know that mood disorders have a genetic trait, blood samples are still needed in order to find a cure. I am one of the 6000 women who has already taken part and it couldn't have been more interesting. One of the researchers travelled for several hours to visit and interviewed me with regards to my own illness. She then took a blood sample which was analysed, along with thousands of others in the hope that it will shed some light on the evil that is Postnatal illness. I am delighted to be part of this cutting edge research which delves deep into the DNA and tries to isolate that gene or genes responsible. It had the added bonus of helping me understand the illness, and that it was something in my genetic make up and not of my own making. In other words, it freed me of the guilt so many of us sufferers have with regard to our own situations. It was unavoidable, and I was always going to be ill, just as some people have heart disease or cancers in their own genetic makeup.

If you want to take part in this critical and often life saving research you can contact the research team directly. The leading lady is DR Katherine Gordon Smith and she can be contacted on 0212 301 2361 or at moodresearch@contacts.bham.ac.uk She is particularly interested in women who have had a period of 'elevated mood' or mania as is sometimes called. However I'm sure she would only be too happy to hear from anyone who is willing to help with this valuable study.

Blessings as usual. Suzi AKA Caroline Church x

Could your insomnia be caused by your hormones?

When I was poorly and before I had my hysterectomy, I would often have sleeping issues which would leave me oversleeping (sometimes even needing to sleep during the day) and then the opposite, where I would often wake up with a start, and would then be awake with for several hours. The result would be an inability to cope with the day ahead, and then a compulsion to sleep, and so the cycle goes on . If you've ever suffered from insomnia you will be familiar with this pattern, which can often leave you despairing and reaching for sleeping tablets, or worse, alcohol which has the added ability to wake you suffering from dehydration. Sometimes I would wake with a racing heart and  sometimes my mind would be going over and over on an endless loop as the adrenaline flooded my system, and fuelled my sense of impending doom.

After reading and learning about hormones and discovering that I had a hormonal illness, I found a perfect solution to my insomnia, and that is natural progesterone. My  body was clearly having issues maintaining equilibrium, and so I used this amazing medicine to help me with my sleeping problems, particularly if I awoke in the early hours. To make sure however, that it wasn't only me that this could work for, I just conducted the same experiment on a friend to be sure that it wasn't  just a happy coincidence.

This particular friend is one of my 'hormonal sisters' and has had health issues for sometime with PMS, mood swings and crippling insomnia which again would leave her suffering from exhaustion, and would even enhance her mood swings. As an experiment, I asked her to use some Progesterone with a small snack before bed, and then again if she awoke in the night which she did. By Day 1 her sleeping had already improved, and by day 2 and 3, she was astonished by her new sleep pattern. She even noticed that the 'quality' of her sleep had improved and she was able to sleep more soundly and deeply. This I might add was after several weeks of lying awake and catastrophizing, which I can assure you is deeply unpleasant and has the ability to ruin your life. I'm delighted that it has worked for her and it adds weight to my book 'I blame the Hormones' where I explain perfectly how hormones are often overlooked and completely misunderstood. Another bonus to this is that her PMS this month is also non-existent, which at times was severe and debilitating and had required medical intervention.

Before you use natural progesterone, which you can by easily online, you should always have a chat with your GP as some women are intolerant to both, the natural and synthetic kind. However, if you have been suffering from any hormonal issues, you can always give it a try and should ask your doctor for a prescription. The particular brand I use is called CYCLOGEST and has the added bonus of being cheaper, and can work within the first hour of using. The only side effect is a little gastric wind, but it is in my experience that this soon passes the more your body gets used to the suppository. The  progesterone cream can be purchased easily enough, and you rub it into the skin where it is easily metabolized and can lessen any troublesome symptoms, particularly pre-menstrual mood swings.

For further reading on the miracle that is our hormones, I would take look at an amazing website by an amazing lady (Sonya),at www.hormonesoup.com/ where you can find tons of information about women's health issues, and where there is even a television channel for this sole cause!

Please let me know your thoughts on this topic and let me know if it works for you, Suzi, AKA Caroline Church x

Can Cannabis be medicinal?

As an activist and writer, I am involved in lots of different forums from all different countries which have been vital when I've been researching, but also have the added bonus of putting me in touch with other sufferers. It is so helpful to know when you are poorly that you are not alone and these forums have been essential in my recovery and obtaining vital information. Sufferers can also swap coping strategies and the latest findings, which sometimes includes  medical text and available treatments.

Time and time again the subject of cannabis arises and whether it can be used for medicinal purposes, particularly depression and emotional mood disorders. Here's my story and why I don't think it should be used if you have a depressive illness.

I know some people use cannabis for certain disease states, including Multiple Sclerosis and even Cancer and I used to use it for many years to help me relax. In fact I used it continuously throughout my twenties and well into my 30's to help me cope with my loneliness and inability to face up to my own depression. So in other words, I used it to help me cope with the daily grind of life and whatever that entailed at that particular time. I sometimes used alcohol in the same way, and would always have an emotional crutch in some way shape or form, in the hope that it would mask my low self esteem and in particular my rages and internalized anger which was part of my disorder. One particular evening, and this was after many years of smoking without adverse effects, I had the most awful of reactions, and what started as a panic attack quickly escalated into what can only be described as a terrifying psychosis with hallucinations thrown in. I was in the most awful of states and had to ask a friend to sit with me until the effects wore off, which incidentally was many hours after I had smoked. We came close to calling an ambulance which in hindsight is what we should have done!!
This reaction was so profound, I honestly swore never to smoke again, and thankfully never did, my cannabis days were over! I believe now, that the evidence speaks for itself and there can be a point that anyone can tip over the edge, regardless of whether they have emotional difficulties or not. However, if you do have a mental disorder, regardless of whether its hormonal, bipolar or schizophrenia then you are even further at risk. There is also some new research which is coming forward regarding the adverse effects of cannabis use if you have ADHD for example, and this can cause further mental illness later in life. It really doesn't seem worth it when you think of the long term effects and the damage it can do to an already fragile mind, although I know that others disagree with me. It seems to be that until you have that one adverse response, where you have been frightened out of your wits, you simply don't believe it can happen to you. From bitter experience I can tell you that it does and can have very serious consequences with some even needing hospital admission until their psychosis has passed. Some sadly, never recover and I have spoken to a few that have needed ongoing and long term care after a bad experience.
Fortunately for me, just having that one bad episode, was  enough to stop me from smoking and for that I am eternally grateful. I no longer want to take the risk of tampering with something that I know is very precious, and that is the human mind.With this latest and all encompassing research which is available to us now, I  simply don't think its worth it and we have to find another way to help us relax which doesn't involve putting ourselves at risk of psychological damage.

If you are having problems with cannabis use you can call Narcotics Anonymous UK on 0300 999 1212 who have helped  many people I know and have an excellent reputation. They also helped me many years ago when I thought quite wrongly that I wouldn't be able to relax without it.

Blessings. Suzi.

Ps. Reviews of my book needed please, Thank you xx