Saturday, 29 November 2014

Today is the second anniversary of my Hysterectomy.

Two years ago today I had a hysterectomy. I also had my ovaries removed in the hope that it would cure my depressive episodes which were related to my hormonal cycle and had ruined some of the best years of my life. Even though this may seem radical (particularly to those that haven't suffered from this mood disorder) I really felt that it was my last chance at gaining some sense of normality in what was becoming an  unbearable day to day existence with nowhere else to turn..

So what has happened since? And has it worked? Could I have been wrong and maybe it wasn't a hormonal disorder at all!

The answer to the above is that by the time I had made the decision to have major surgery, I knew it would work because I had researched every available text and paper I could get my hands on. I had also spoken to numerous health professionals and also sufferers that had also had the same operation. In short, I couldn't wait to have this organ removed that had already destroyed so much of my life.

To clarify, I no longer have mood swings, I no longer have screaming tantrums, I no longer have the compulsion to sleep and I don't feel tearful and overwhelmed by the most mundane of tasks. The mental chatter and racing have stopped, and I haven't had an attack of shingles in 2 years. I can also go shopping and face people without feeling panicked and terrified. I'm altogether a different person who is well and together for the first time in my whole life. What a miracle that is!!

You can now pre-order a copy of I blame the Hormones on Amazon which I have written with the sole intention of helping other sufferers. Please buy a copy or two and help raise awareness of how being a women can literally send you mad.

Peace and Love.

S x

Thursday, 13 November 2014

Last nights Broadmoor Documentary.

Last night, and indeed last week, my husband and I watched with great interest the Broadmoor documentary on television. It gives a fascinating insight into life inside Broadmoor and the patients and staff that are behind these mysterious walls. My heart goes out to anyone that has suffered from mental illness, but I was also absolutely amazed by the standard of care and the professionalism of the staff and doctors, who are often working in the most dangerous of situations, with people that are extremely ill. The compassion and understanding that they showed was second to none and it made me feel extremely proud to be living in a country with such a wonderful national health service and such dedicated health care professionals.

Here is what I noticed. Without exception, all of the patients had troubled childhoods and were often victims of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. They quite often had been institutionalized from a very young age, so they had been in care or quite often in prison before their illness became paramount.

Secondly, almost all of them had suffered from an addiction which included alcohol or recreational drugs and sometimes even both as part of their illness. This then exacerbated the condition and massively contributed to a worsening state of mind often leading to delusions and then a psychosis .

So what came first the illness or the addiction? Was the illness a symptom of the addiction, or was the addiction responsible for their emotional disorder? For me its hard to say and the documentary so far has not given any leads. However its hard not to see the correlation between the two issues which often go hand in hand with the suffering person and will only worsen any illness.

The other thing I noticed when the patients were talking about their personal history, and is something to bear in mind if you are a parent, and that is they all spoke about feeling 'unloved' as a child, a nuisance even, and that made me feel incredibly sad as I contemplated how they must have felt during the early years of their life. You could almost sense the loneliness as they spoke and the sense of isolation that they had felt.

If there's anything to learn from this, it has to be that human beings need and deserve unconditional love during the most formative years, and it is this love which will prevent a change in brain chemistry and can help us become balanced and stable adults there after. We can literally prevent mental illness by flooding our children with love and affection or simply by making them feel secure.
 For further reading on this fascinating subject I would read ' WHY LOVE MATTERS by Sue Gerhardt who is amazing psychotherapist and  who really has proven that affection can actually shape a baby's brain.

 For extra support, Alcoholics Anonymous - 02078330022
OR Narcotics Anonymous - 03009991212

Stay well and cuddle your children loads.

Suzi x

Monday, 3 November 2014

The release date for my book.

Lots and lots of people have contacted me with regards to my book and the release date so here goes! The book has just had a legal completed  which has bought up some issues and this has unfortunately created a delay. The book was supposed to be published in early December but now it looks more like January providing all goes to plan. I have had to revise the manuscript accordingly and of course that has been time consuming and at times soul destroying as is normal with any publication. To date it has taken over two years to write and some 8 years of research, so you could say I've been very disheartened at times and even willing to shelve the whole project (no pun intended)!

Despite the problems and subsequent delays, in terms of getting a copy you can now pre-order on Amazon and you should have your copy delivered no later than the end of January. If there is any further delays then Amazon have been extremely efficient in letting all customers know by email. Please order a copy or maybe even 2 and help raise awareness of depressive illness, regardless of its origins. You may know somebody that needs help and it can even save lives if there are enough copies circulating. It can also help healthcare professionals understand the correlation between our hormones and the destabilizing effect they can have on ones mind which is all too often ignored or simply not picked up on.

In the meantime I have read a fascinating article today regarding those wonderful scientists at Northwestern University  in Chicago. They have developed a blood test for depression which will hopefully speed up diagnoses and rapidly change the way that depression is treated. It had the added bonus of relaying what will be the most effective treatment, and which therapies stand the best chance of working. This to me is the miracle of science and is the next step in treating and understanding the genetics involved in this biochemical abnormality. Hopefully this will mean the next generation of sufferers will have another weapon in the fight against mental illness.

Thank you for ordering a copy of my book. God Bless.

Suzi xx